Reimagine: Presence

“What are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?” reads the super-popular Mary Oliver quote splattered across Instagram.

It’s a thought-provoking question, but it can also make us feel pressure to optimize every moment. But what if we reimagine what presence in our lives really looks like, and stop using work as a way to avoid facing ourselves?

Read on for some of my own thoughts on presence, and I’d love for you to hit ‘reply’ and share yours, too!

“I think you’re intentionally overworking to avoid spending time with the kids. That is really hard on me.”

That’s the gist of what a friend of mine said to their spouse, as they recounted it to me.

Parenting is hard. Marriage can be hard too. So is being single. So is being an empty nester.

And one goal I’ve always had at MatchPace is to decrease the actual amount of time we spend working (because we work too much, and it’s not good for our health OR our bottom line). But once we do find a sustainable pace at work, we’re all faced with a new question: “Now what?”

What do I do with the time that I used to be buried under crushing amounts of work?

What do I do now that I have to face myself?

How do I face relationships that aren’t what I want them to be?

How do I face decisions I’ve made that took me somewhere I never thought I’d go and are not where I want to be?

How do I face circumstances I can’t change?

Work is important, yes, but it can also become a convenient and socially acceptable “numbing agent.” I’m not an expert in helping people with numbing agents like drugs, alcohol, food, pornography, mindless scrolling, or so many others, but I am an expert in helping people stop using work as an excuse to not be present with themselves and their most important relationships.

It’s a problem we’re going to face on a broader scale once we realize how much organizations drive this kind of behavior. (Please, organizations 🙏… recognize what you contribute to this and how you can change!)

So my challenge to you is to ask yourself:

• How am I using unnecessary overwork to hide from something important in my life?

• What is one change I can make with my work to step closer to who I want and need to be, for myself and the people I love?

If you’re feeling brave, you can even reply to this email and share some of your answers to those questions! I’d love to help support you on your journey toward reimagining your presence to yourself.

P.S. What do I mean by decreasing the time we spend working? Well, much of our days are literally spent on unnecessary overwork. Plus we have a lot of technology that can do even more work for us (increasing daily). And maybe we could finally listen to the neuroscience that tells us our brains can really only focus for 4-6 hours/day, and that we actually get diminishing marginal returns the longer the workday stretches. So we’re working too much, and not only are we suffering for it personally, organizations are suffering too. Because it turns out, burned-out people don't do very good work!

Working Well and Living Well

MatchPace’s ethos is that we need to be able to work and live well. “Well” doesn’t always mean rosy or positive. Instead, it reflects the reality of doing good work! And the same is true for living well. Sharing each week how I’m living well reminds me I’m a whole person, with a full identity outside of work. 

Working Well: Moving to Hybrid is a big deal for any organization, let alone something as big as a major Federal agency. 

On a project with a Federal Client, we’re developing a “Change Agent Network” to support their move to Hybrid Work. 

Rosabeth Moss Kanter said: “Change is a threat when done to me, but an opportunity when done by me.”

By involving employees in the transition, by having them help to lead the transition, your initiative is a lot more likely to be successful and to actually stick. 

Where are you leading change in your organization? Can you bring some change agents alongside you?

Living Well: I did step out of the day-to-day last week! I went with 3 friends to the Shenandoah Mountains of West Virginia! This was our 3rd year doing a getaway to celebrate Mother’s Day and take a break from the work of parenting. We hiked, hot-tubbed, napped, and explored!

P.S. Follow me on LinkedIn for more insight about reimagining how we work and live!